Apr
16
Why Do Men Cheat?
Posted by 4T at 13:56 | Filed In Family After 40, Life After 40, Social After 40
Recently, I met to friends who have become divorced within the past two years. One had found out that her husband had been cheating on her for 10 years, with the same women. The other friend’s husband left her for a younger women. Both women are in their early 50’s, successful, beautiful, and devastated. Their families were shattered and everyone is in therapy, trying to figure out what went wrong.
That brings me to my question: why do men cheat? Some experts say that it is brought about by low self esteem. Having one women love them is not enough, they need that constant reassurance. I think it’s about virility, control of women, and their ability to attract women. They feel like their missing something sexually and have a desire to experiment. Maybe the thrill and excitement of cheating with a younger person makes them feel young again.
OK, I understand all that, but there is still that issue of choice. If a man or women, for that matter, stopped to think that their significant other might do the same thing, they may think twice. Everyone thinks that they can get away with cheating. Is your life so bad that you need to throw it away? Can’t you discuss your unhappiness with your spouse, or go to counseling? If that fails, leave gracefully. It still hurts, it’s still life altering, but I think it is easier for the other person to understand.
Some men just want it all: stability, at least to the outside world, and fun and excitement that seeing someone else may bring, if only temporarily. People don’t think about getting caught, causing pain, and losing their family. They are selfish, and live in the moment. We always tell young children to think before they speak, think before they do something because there are consequences for our actions. That advice should be brought to mind periodically throughout our lives.
There is another side of this that I have noticed a lot recently. It seems women in long term relationships get restless in their early to mid 30’s. Not all of the one’s I know have left for another man but wanting new relationships was a big part of why they left. I’m not defending men who cheat, just saying that I have started noticing similar behavior in women.